Me and my Mann… Back off Bitches!

YES that is me. Calm down ladies, one day you will be as happy and lucky as I am.

Remembering the MAN BEAST!

Oh thank the heavens this Giant Mann is gone, what a Beast he-man that was…. Poor Brett P.I.G and (I cant believe I would say Poor) but this bitch was starting to freak me out, any minute I thought she was going to unleash the hairy nut sack and show off the Wet Willie! I think Brett P.I.G kept IT around just in case Big John couldn’t protect him from the rest of his Crack Head Barbie Fan club!

DICK Sucker

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This BITCH is really CRAZY….. REALLY

I luv her more and more each week… I am proud that she trapped this loser douche bag and luv how she wants to kill those skanks she rooms with!

Note to Danger:

Please be my friend you LOCA, we would make a great team!

CANDY WHORES… DID U KNOW?

Did you know this ugly Dark Chocolate Bitch had a baby from this famous Football player, Now I get why she actually made it in the modeling business… there is NO way any one would hire her if it wasn’t for her famous baby daddy, this Bitch has teeth and gums like Mr. Ed the horse and her mane is starting to resemble him too…. Wait is it him?

The Mayer in VEGAS! (Long Post)

So this weekend was my trip to Vegas (smiling) and I had a F*ucken Fabulous time… I partied like a Rock Star and have not fully recovered. The Friday we headed out got off to a slow start, the girls and I apparently over packed… we each had the biggest F*cken 3 weeks Vacation bag for a 2 night stay and I only rented a Jetta… LOL we piled our luggage in the trunk and hit the road we were there in 3 hrs… “Now” I’m not sure what the Hell is in the desert air but what ever it is those Bird size bugs committed suicide on my windshield the whole trip, we are talking Florescent yellow and green splatter all over… it was both sick and scary at the same time! We finally arrive and check into our BEAUTIFUL ROOM at the Venetian (Thanks Ness) if it were up to me we would have stayed at the nearest and cheapest extended stay chain or possibly worse Circus Circus LOL; anyways we checked in and immediately hit the mini bar in our room… it was a blur pretty much the rest of the weekend, we honestly drank our livers into a complete comma, my stomach stopped digesting food and looked as if I was 6 months pregnant the rest of the trip.

After a full night of parting some of us more than others (Lorena) needed to be dropped off at the room, we (me and Darla) slip into our running pants which apparently were PJ’s, Ness would not be seen with us, so Ness headed off to the 100 dollar poker tables while Darla and I decide to take a trip to the King’s fav casino, that is located in downtown lv, I’m not sure how many of you have been downtown but at 4 in the morning it’s a lil Rough, we ended up at the PLAZA hotel where we met a few friends at the bar and can I just say I thought my Nasty mouth was bad and then I met Nida, she was a Filipino, 3ft women with the mouth of a Sailor, she used words like “I Don’t Give A PUCK” and “You don’t have a bik DICK” it was great entertainment we stayed for about an hour and caught a cab back, the driver was from Ethiopia, I was explaining to him about how I couldn’t eat meat all day and if he could drop us off at Denny’s for some Buffalo Wings… he then explained to me that in his religion he had to give up SEX Thursdays and Fridays so he could relate to my need for meat… hahahaha I told him to make sure he gets it from his wife on weds and remember technically Friday ended at 12 midnight… he was good to go! We all finally go to sleep at 7:30 am, wake up at 9:30 and start drinking again!

We decided to get ready early and have a good dinner at Wolf Gang Pucks, what a lovely place to bad the waiter was in my opinion smoking dope, our meal was ruined and there is no recommendation to this place EVER save your money and eat Mc D’s like I suggested! The girls and I decided to hit up the new club at Encore called XS, we arrived at about 11:00 and the place was PACKED… we get in and immediately fall in love, this place was the sh*t, the Bottle Service Tables were awesome and the Cabanas were out of control Plus there were so much eye candy I could hardly stand it! After a heavy amount of drinking, shoes breaking and being approached by every old geezer it the spot we leave…. On our way out a woman approaches us and says you girls are invited to a party upstairs in the penthouse…. OKAY and the celebrity hosting this party is newly single, so not wanting to pass up some free drinks and a trip up to the 60th floor of the Encore Hotel we do it, guess who answers the door, Ol’ Skinny Bones himself JOHN MAYER, yes this pig had hair like a mule and the face only a mother could love, I now get why Jen dumped his a$$... we didn’t stay long after I was asked if I’d like to join him in the room for some extra curricular activities… geeeez can a girl get a lil buttering up to first, I just cant hop in the sack without at least knowing half your #, hahaha none of us had enough to drink to take one for the team, next time friends!

The next day Darla and I wake up and Lorena is a goner she to the first flight home like 9 in the morning… God Love her I couldn’t get out of bed that early! We pack our 3 weeks of clothes and Check out… We decide to take a trip to the Stratosphere, I think we hit every bar in the joint before reaching the 108 floor and realized the wind was ridiculously out of control, I nearly lost my weave to that ridiculous storm up there! By the time we made it down we were all a drunken mess… 2 of us missed our flights and the other 2 lets just say were nearly thrown of the plane mid air… LOL with a lost phone, pair of Gucci sunglasses and no ride home we finally reached John Wayne Air port…. Home Sweat Home!

There were so many more funny stories but I’m not sure anyone will read this three page posting, I truly could have made a killing if I video taped the weekend… We had a blast and can’t wait to back!

Personal Post - Stalkers at work

I have a stalker at work... I'd like to refer to him as 1 eyed willie, "Willie" because it looks like he's got a Willie coming out of his wondering eye... seriously he only has one eye functional; Anyways this weird fuck keeps strolling by my Cube and staring at me (with his good eye) He literally stops center aisle and stares... not only is he a freak but he has a group of freaks he hangs out with... i mean this group of characters are amazing one of them is Indian... Slurpee Indian he takes numerous men's room visits and he also likes to stop and chat even if I keep my back to these creeps they still talk; The other is a dark chocolate who always has his cellular size blue tooth stuck to his ear... he thinks he's so cool walking around talking to himself I bet he uses that FAKE A CALL app that all phones now have!

He just walked by again.... LOL I have the most craziest shit happen to me I swear, I could write a book... if The Cuntess could get a book deal I know I could

APRIL 6TH 2009 - PARTY AT MY PAD!

I cant wait... I missed LC!

Love Her - Tiger Face

She deserves her man, this Jerk Off Met his match... she is one crazy bitch and smart she''ll be getting paid for 18 years!

Sayonara Skanks!

Well about F*cken time... Crack head Barbie is a gonner (smiling ear to ear) if you didn't catch Sundays episode of Rock of Love Whore Tour well let me sum it up for you... The Ex's invade and gag me these losers were UGLY, Crack head Barbie (Ashley) has her Baby Daddy or better known as THE UNTOUCHABLE GANGSTER (James) show up... turns out they still live together and "NO ONE CAN PULL HIS PUSSY" Oh, but guess what Bret P.I.G. did....or so he says; Then there was Brittney Star AKA Brittanya, this scary spice reject got a lil crazy with Heather which would have rocked my year had that pussy punch she threw connected... either way she Hawked a man like loogy straight towards Heather, needless to say Bret wasn't impressed and let that chicken fly the coop! As for all the others LAME-O's it was pretty boring except for Big Boy Beverly who just cried that "no one wuvs me no one showed up for me"booo hooo hooo get over it, you are ugly and possibly born a Man go home already!

Hopefully next week is good, I can't see it being better then the past three episodes but we'll see!

NEW SHOW ALERT - TOUGH LOVE

So I caught the first episode which aires Sundays after Rock Of Love Bus Tour… So far I like it, I mean these bitches think they are the shit and really have no clue why they cant find a man and on top of that a man who wants to take them home to mama. I will continue to research this show but cant make any promises if it’s a keeper… Once my Hills are back on I will give everything else up!

NEW SHOW ALERT – THE COUGAR

Well it’s finally happened a real life desperado show… I can’t tell you if this is good or bad but either way I’m excited to see if this is raunchy enough to keep me interested… I’m a lil curious to see what kind of foxy money hungry Bitch Boys this will bring out, I mean we all know that younger men find older women hot but does that mean they should have a relationship probably not because once these dogs get a little older they ditch the hags for some young meat… I’m sure there will be drama but I’m not sure it will be the kind I like!

REAL HO'S OF NEW JERSEY... WTF

OK THAT'S IT... I'M CALLING BRAVO AND EXPRESSING MY MAJOR CONCERNS... WHO GIVES A HORSE FUCK ABOUT NJ! ARE THEY OUT OF THERE MIND, MY CARPOOL PAL AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI SHOULD HAVE BEEN NEXT! FROM THE LOOKS OF THESE OVER PROCESSED WOMEN THEY SHOULD HAVE GIVEN THIS SERIES A TITLE OF IT'S OWN... FAKE FUR CIRCUS FREAKS!

Adios PUTA’s!

A swift Kick to poor Cookie’s face landed a SWIFTER kick in the ass goodbye to the Psycho Path Ailea and her lil Dog Boston! I couldn’t be happier; these 2 freak shows were on my nerves and if Whitney barked up another “This is how we do it in BOSTON” I was going to start making violent threats to the Oxygen Channel!!!! As for Ailea, hahahaha Well this lil weirdo was useless and the Reality TV world is more then happy to see her leave actually it was like she was never there in the first place, I commend Tiff on calling out her Homie, I think Tiff was even embarrassed to be associated with that four eyed freak! So next week should be good, we’ll probably see more of Sarah and Ashley BOUNCING UP ON IT, just remember Ladies it doesn’t count if you wear a condom…. WTF its dumb and dummer!

“What a Cuntess”

A friend of mine came up with this name for the Cuntess and I thought it was fabulous so we officially changed it from Countess Luann to “The Cuntess” ! So The Cuntess was finally given some constructive criticism, she married an Old Fat Ugly Pig, Her Book Title is STUPID and being married to a Count doesn’t make you Richer prettier or Holier than Thou… in fact it makes you a 5th wife with bad hair! On another note, when the Fag and his Ruthless Toothless wife Alex got in that Blow up pool filled with god knows what I thought the heavens sent me that shot for having endured such a bad day… it was truly COMICAL!

NEW SHOW ALERT – CANDY (WHORES) GIRLS

So this has to be the ghettoest show on TV yet, and I already have a favorite… Terricka, she is a loud mouth hooker and I LOVE HER J I also love how she told her Boss to have a F’d up day and wished her to trip, fall and break a leg… GREAT that was probably the best wish I heard all year! These are the ugliest Dark Chocolates I have ever seen… I mean come on people Bad Weave and Bucked Teeth are not attractive, and I swear the Bowlegged one is a Man!

The Dolls are back….

OK, I hate to admit this but I do love the Kardashians… Khloe is a F’en Crazy Bitch and I want her as my friend… Kourney is a cute lil Chihuahua and I also want her as my friend… then there is Kim, I don’t want her as my friend, I would much rather have her ass, clothes and car! In this episode Khloe goes to jail, LOL luckily for her she is a big boned bitch and should have had no problems putting the smack down… not to worry people she finished her hard time in 3 hours… I’m not even sure that is enough time to book someone in a cell??? O well celebrity life at its finest!

Hookers Next Door

Well the end is near and though some of us have enjoyed these skinny Bitches…………… ITS OVER, I hate to admit this but I’ll miss those hookers! It was a tear jerker watching Kendra the "Afro Loving Midget" say goodbye to all her slaves…. Booo hooo looks like someone has to fetch her own meals and clean her own room and pick up her own dogs shit… WELCOME to my reality slut; then there was the Old Blondie Bridgett, she is the smartest out of the 3, she hasn't officially left the mansion instead she got her own travel show… now that’s all good except the fact that I couldn't’t give a fuck about her traveling… in fact I wish her lots of Jelly Fish Stings and Sars attacks, that’s right I don’t like that whinny bitch! We will have to wait till next week to see how Holly leaves and I’m sure it will be Dramatic; I do know that she is the dumbest of the 3, simply because she is leaving the good life for a Low Budget UGLY Magician… I guess the Angel pulled this bunny right out the hat! ADIOS Skanks... We'll be welcoming in a new bunch of toddlers and I hear they're a set of Tittieless twins, looks like Hef gets em younger as he gets OLDER... Old Saggy Balls that's all I can think about when looking at this Grandpa!

Beat Down in Cancun….

OMG where do I begin… I loved yesterday’s episode of TBGC, these Bitches are a bunch of Horny dogs and I love each and every one of them… So after weeks of threatening to beat each others ass It finally happens, they jumped Cookie, WHY? I’m still trying to figure it out but either way it was great TV… Boston grabs Cookie by the hair and it’s a GIRL fight, after trying to separate them it turns into a jump fight with Amber CRATER face B. just watching her Amber Show counter part getting a swift kick to the face…. I must admit even I felt bad for the lil titghtey Whitey as she cried for her BFF to help her……… TO BE CONTINUED. From the looks of next weeks episode Cookie ended up in the hospital and I think she might have pressed some much deserved charges on those dirty skanks **Do, do**Do, do** It’s the Amber Show!

P.S
Is anyone irritated by Ashley… she swears she is heart stopping hot, someone please remove the Sharpe from her make up bag and good Lord is she 7 months pregnant??? From now on I will refer to her as GUTter Bitch.

The FAGGelor… What a CRYSISSY!

Ok so this is BULSHIT and I want my 3 hours of TV Time back, what a lil bitch he cried for practically the whole show…. I can’t believe this loser and even more I can’t believe Molly the Cock eyed skank would take this guy back…. SLOPPY SECONDS DUMMY! Why Melissa gave back that Neil Lane Ring is beyond me and even worse he didn’t get a Rihana Chris Brown Beat down like I would have given him! Tonight Part two of After the Ring, what’s going to happen is going to break up with Molly and ask Jillian to give him a Third Chance????

Hate Them!

This is just sickening I hate these people and I hate how they couldn’t get a TV show of there own so they piggy backed of my 2 Favorite Girls, Whit Whit and LC whom I will name my first born daughter after… Why doesn’t a plane go down with these losers in it or how come paparazzi involved car accident doesn’t accidentally happen with these freeloaders??

I HATE THEM, HATE THEM, HATE THEM!

Another one bites the Dust… or should I say speed bump?

Kelsey is eliminated, and might I say Farahoe should have went with her these dumb bitches made asses of them selves which I know is not new but hella funny, Anyways, I’m excited to see the train wreck next week, should be good considering the weave infested skinny Crack Barbie is still there… What a bunch of Playboy/Pent house rejects, I mean if those magz don’t want you then who does????” Oh Wait Bret PIG Michaels J

Celebrity Apprentice – The dice is a goner

I caught the first episode and was pleasantly surprised of how much I like these piece of shit has bins, they bring it all to the table… my favorite as we all know is Khloe, that Fat pig will do anything to one up her Bodacious Bitch Sista! Whoo Hoo bring on the “Do you know Who I am” and the Big Fat ego Trips, this is going to be one hell of a D Lister Sunday Madness!

Too Hood For Hollywood!

Peace out lil Hood……..This show continues to keep me rolling, I nearly pissed my pants when Lil Hood told Ray Ho that he was spoiled and wouldn’t know what to do if he didn’t have all the luxuries… How about when the biggest bitch Unique was scared to box danger (tiger Face) I thought that made for wonderful TV time and would pay extra to direct TV just to have this show running daily!

Here today Gone to HELL!!!!

That's right Steven Adler is going to hit the pipe one more time, you see once is never enough for an addict especially one with absolutely no facial movement and or brains for that matter!

Extension Attack!

Sharon Osbourne Sued for Hair Attack - TMZ.com

Well, this is fucking excellent... you can sue someone for ripping out your extensions.... forget about the fact that you got a Can of Whoop Ass opened on you... but fuck with the extensions and charges will be filed LMAO... I really hate this Skank and hope to got Sharon kicks her ass again!